Penis (synonyms)

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This article is a certainly incomplete collection of synonyms and nicknames from the English speaking area for the human penis.

Nicknames for penis from 13th-19th C.

  • Bollocks: this term has longevity; it first appeared around 1300AD and is still used by Brits today!
  • Dick: (1836) commonly heard and used as a derogatory term for a mean dude
  • Doodle: (1785) Yankee Doodle? A patriotic nickname for the proud American penis
  • Fiddle: (Middle Ages)
  • Knick-knack: (1686) in modern speech, this word refers to a useless or superfluous object; the 17th C. usage is not far off
  • Pin: (1460)
  • Plumtree shaker: (1611) usually ‘plum’ referred to female genitalia. Thus the thing that shakes the plum tree applies to the male counterpart
  • Pulling prick: (Middle Ages)
  • Silent flute: (1720) a cylindrical object… hmmm, wonder how they came up with this one?
  • Spindle: (Middle Ages)

1890s: A veritable renaissance in penis nicknames

  • Abraham: Biblical patriarch, or “Father of many nations.”
  • Arse-opener
  • Arse-wedge
  • Athenaeum: denoting the Temple of Athena, or an institution which houses knowledge like a library or university
  • Baby-maker
  • Bayonet
  • Beak
  • Beard-splitter
  • Bedfellow
  • Belly-ruffian
  • Best leg of three
  • Billy-my-nag
  • Bludgeon
  • Bob-my-nag
  • Brat-getter
  • Bum-tickler
  • Bush-whacker
  • Butcher
  • Captain Standish
  • Child-getter
  • Chink-stopper
  • Concern
  • Cony-catcher
  • Copper-stick
  • Cracksman
  • Cranny hunter
  • Cream stick
  • Cuckoo
  • Customs officer
  • Cutlass: a type of short sword with a curved blade, used by sailors
  • Dard
  • Diddle
  • Dingus
  • Dolly
  • Dr. Johnson
  • Enemy
  • Eye-opener
  • Father confessor
  • Flapdoodle
  • Foreman
  • Fornicating engine
  • Fornicating member
  • Fornicating tool
  • Jacob
  • Lance of love
  • Langolee
  • Leather-dresser
  • Leather-stretcher
  • Life preserver
  • Little davy
  • Live rabbit
  • Lobster
  • Lodger
  • Love dart
  • Love staff
  • Lullaby
  • Manroot
  • Master of ceremonies
  • Meat skewer
  • Merrymaker
  • Milkman
  • Mole
  • Nebuchadnezzar: an ancient king of Babylonia
  • Nimrod
  • Nippy
  • Pee-wee
  • Quimstake
  • Skyscraper
  • St. Peter
  • Tentpeg
  • Tickle-faggot
  • Timothy tool

Penis names from the 1900s

  • Aleck
  • Ambassador
  • Arm
  • Axe
  • Baby-fetcher
  • Bald-headed sailor
  • Banana
  • Champion
  • Charmer
  • Cob
  • Corporal
  • Crumb
  • Dingbat
  • Ding-dong
  • Dingle
  • Dodger
  • Dornick
  • Drill
  • Ducey
  • Family organ
  • Goober
  • Gospel-pipe
  • Ham-bone
  • Hot Dog
  • Hot member
  • Joystick
  • Majesty
  • Mule
  • Nightstick
  • Okra
  • Old boy
  • One-eyed rattlesnake
  • Organ grinder
  • Patootie
  • Pee-pee
  • Pencil
  • Putz
  • Redcap
  • Roger
  • Skin flute
  • Soupbone
  • Sweetener
  • Swelling
  • Tater
  • Tonsil Tickler
  • Toothpick
  • Wee-wee
  • Weiner/Weeny
  • Whang
  • Whanger

Literary/Classy penis nicknames

Perhaps you’d like some polite, literary terms for your penis. These are excellent for use in erotic literature, love letters or sexting between logophiles.

  • Cock: phonetically pleasing; falls nicely between the sexy rake and gallant gentleman
  • Jimmy
  • Knob
  • Lad (Ireland)
  • Langer (Ireland)
  • Length
  • Love muscle
  • Manhood: the most polite term of them all
  • Member
  • Membrum virile: Latin for ‘virile member’ for all those academics out there
  • Phallus
  • Prick
  • Pud
  • Rod
  • Shaft
  • Tadger (UK, Australia)
  • Yard

Raunchy/funny names for penis

If the previous lists of nicknames for penis didn’t make you laugh, here are some funny penis nicknames that will. Or, they’ll just gross you out.

  • Action Jackson
  • Atomic turtle
  • Cave hunter
  • Clam hammer
  • Cocktapus
  • Disco stick
  • Dora the explorer
  • Energizer Bunny
  • Excalibur
  • Frank n’ beans
  • Fuck puppet
  • Heat seeking moisture missile
  • Herman von longschlongenstein
  • Jurassic Pork
  • Justin-in beaver
  • King Dong
  • Knobgoblin
  • Lap Rocket
  • Long dong silver
  • Lord Hardwick
  • Meat scepter
  • Moby Dick
  • Mutton dagger
  • One-eyed monster
  • One-eyed trouser trout
  • Pleasure Pump
  • Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
  • Puff the one-eyed dragon
  • Purple helmeted warrior of love
  • Richard and the twins
  • Rumpleforeskin
  • Russell the one-eyed muscle
  • Sex Pistol
  • Spam javelin
  • Tan Banana
  • The blue-veined aristocrat
  • The bone ranger
  • The Dicktator
  • Tiny Tim
  • Trouser Snake
  • Tuna torpedo
  • Uncle Reamus
  • Vagina miner
  • Vlad the Impaler
  • Weapon of Ass Destruction
  • Wedding wrecker
  • Womb broom
  • Womb Raider
  • Woody Womb Pecker
  • Yogurt slinger

Manscaped collection

  • Action Jackson
  • Ambassador
  • Ass Opener
  • Ass Wedge
  • Atomic Turtle
  • Axe
  • Baby Fetcher
  • Bald-Headed Sailor
  • Bayonet
  • Beard Splitter
  • Best Leg of Three
  • Blue Veined Aristocrat
  • Brat Getter
  • Bum Tickler
  • Bush Whacker
  • Cave Hunter
  • Champion
  • Charmer
  • Clam Hammer
  • Cocktapus
  • Creamy Hunter
  • Crown Jewels
  • Customs Officer
  • Disco Stick
  • Dora the Explorer
  • Dr. Johnson
  • Drill
  • Energizer Bunny
  • Excalibur
  • Eye Opener
  • Family Organ
  • Father Confessor
  • Foreman
  • Frank n’ Beans
  • Fuck Puppet
  • Gospel Pipe
  • Ham Bone
  • Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
  • Herman von Longschlongenstein
  • Joystick
  • Jurassic Pork
  • Just-in Beaver
  • King Dong
  • Knobgoblin
  • Lance of Love
  • Lap Rocket
  • Leather Stretcher
  • Life Preserver
  • Long Dong Silver
  • Lord Hardwick
  • Love Dart
  • Majesty
  • Manroot
  • Master of Ceremonies
  • Meat Scepter
  • Meat Skewer
  • Milkman
  • Moby Dick
  • Mole
  • Mutton Dagger
  • Nightstick
  • Old Boy
  • One-Eyed Rattlesnake
  • One-Eyed Trouser Trout
  • Organ Grinder
  • Pee-Wee
  • Pleasure Pump
  • Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
  • Puff the One-Eyed Dragon
  • Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
  • Redcap
  • Richard and the Twins
  • Rumpleforeskin
  • Russell the One-Eyed Muscle
  • Sex Pistol
  • Silent Flute
  • Skin Flute
  • Skyscraper
  • Spam Javelin
  • Sweetener
  • Tan Banana
  • Tentpeg
  • The Bone Ranger
  • The Dicktator
  • The Fantastic Four
  • The Heimlich
  • Tiny Tim
  • Tonsil Tickler
  • Toothpick
  • Trouser Snake
  • Tuna Torpedo
  • Uncle Reamus
  • Vagina Miner
  • Vlad the Impaler
  • Weapon of Ass Destruction
  • Wedding Wrecker
  • Womb Broom
  • Womb Raider
  • Woody Womb Pecker
  • Yogurt Slinger

Collected nicknames by Facebook intactivists

  • Baby arm
  • Dillywacker
  • Ding-a-ling
  • Pipe
  • Russell the one eyed love muscle
  • Third leg
  • Tripod leg
  • Vienna sausage

See also

External links

References