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== Jonathon Conte, 31 ==
As a child, I grew up believing that my body was whole. I grew up assuming that my [[penis]] looked and worked the same as any other. I grew up thinking that the scar on my genitals was just a natural part of my body and that all men had it. I grew up figuring that the soreness brought on by clothing and [[masturbation ]] were normal aspects of being a guy. I never questioned why so many types of underwear were painful, I only found it strange that anyone could manage to wear them.
I was about 14 years old when I learned that part of my [[penis]] had been cut off. It seems like this is something that one might realize earlier in life and yet I never did. I was never taught about normal male anatomy and no one ever explained to me that I had undergone genital surgery as an infant. When I learned the devastating truth, my stomach sank and my throat closed up.
===The discovery of sexuality===
Sometime during my school days I started with [[masturbation]], which without [[foreskin]] was not quite simple. First I tried with a dry hand to rub the glans, but except unpleasant to painful feelings nothing further happened. I then tried different techniques and tools such as soft cloth from which it although somewhat worked, with which I also sometimes minor injuries, such as Abrasions on the glans, drew upon. Eventually I came up with the idea as shampoo to use a lubricant. It worked quite well for a short time, but ultimately it dried the Skin quite strong, so that created fissures on the surface of the glans and for some time no more pain-free [[masturbation ]] was possible. It took a long time until I right had found techniques and lubricant with which the [[masturbation ]] without major problems was possible. Especially during the time of experimentation I wished again my [[foreskin]] back. I just wanted to be a normal boy.
Meanwhile, I had finally given up the hope that my [[foreskin]] grow back would and so I had to somehow come to terms with my condition. I wish my [[foreskin]] back and tried many times to imagine what it would be like to have a [[foreskin]]. The Certainty that nothing would change in my condition caused an oppressive feeling and I wondered how I could endure my life that way. In the youth magazine "Bravo" I read at that time, that it is quite normal to be circumcised, and therefore no one Has disadvantages. These statements came as naturally called, because it would mean that I could lead a normal life and should not worry about that. I tried to convince myself that only a small useless piece of skin was removed and that I actually should have no problems with it. I suppressed my problems, but has been very successful I did not order.