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→Martin Wolper, 39: Wikify.
''(Much of the following text is part of the [[Circumpendium]]:)''
[[Circumcision]]s on infants and children are performed for a variety of reasons. One thing they all have in common - — the consequences they have for those affected. Talking about those consequences is something that costs quite an effort.
Barely anyone is comfortable with the idea of publicly talking about [[Sexual effects of circumcision| sexual]] or [[Psychological issues of male circumcision| psychological]] problems. The inhibition threshold to disclose one's weaknesses and vulnerabilities is high. Many are not even able to overcome the shame face to face with their family, friends or doctors.
Immediately following the [[circumcision]], I was extremely inhibited. I was ashamed, felt like a misfit. I refused to shower with the others after PE classes, because I felt like a monster with a [[penis]] that didn't look like a [[penis]]. On top of that, there were the awful, bulging [[Circumcision scar| scars]] and for a long time, the unpleasant feeling when my [[penis]] rubbed against my underwear. It only faded gradually, and I calmed down.
When I reached puberty and began to be interested in sexuality, I naturally read the sexual education pages in the "Bravo". I still vividly remember how they often wrote about how pretty and hygienic a [[circumcised]] [[penis]] would be and how long lasting [[Circumcised#Circumcised_males| circumcised men]] were during sex. I believed all of it and claimed it myself for years. I was proud of my [[circumcised ]] [[penis]] and how long I could last.
In my [[circumcision]], the entire [[foreskin]], and therefore all of the sensitive tissue on its inside, was amputated. Since the [[glans]] was now exposed as a result, the constant excitation from underwear and the strong friction from masturbating with my hand caused it to become more and more callused and therefore less sensitive. Callused does of course not mean my glans looks like other people's heels. But the surface of my glans is dry, much thicker and often fissured. It is nowhere near what it is on a normal [[penis]]: tender, moist, sensitive. My sexuality was always mingled with disappointment. Disappointment that the feelings I had were never so intense. Disappointment that fulfilment fulfillment often failed to appear. Disappointment about the feeling to give, but not to receive much. Intercourse often ended in my partners' pleas to come to an end, since they where starting to feel pain, while I was often just starting to build up intense feelings at that point.
Due to ignorance, for a long time I blamed it on the individual women. I thought they were frigid or assumed they "just don't know how to do it". Only recently I realised how very wrong I had been. When the urge to experience a sexual "kick" culminated in several adulteries, my marriage was almost ruined as well. Meanwhile, we managed to save our marriage, and I am endlessly grateful to my wife for that. My [[circumcision]] has deprived me of a huge part of my sexuality for ever. It not only burdens me a lot, but also my wife, who suffers a great deal from being unable to give me what I desire.
I also remember the pre-school examination and the school examination in 1st grade very well, when I stood in front of the school doctor, and she pulled down the front of my underpants and immediately tried to pull back my [[foreskin]], which was impossible even in a flaccid state and hurt a lot. Then she said that this would need to be "operated on immediately". In 1st grade, this examination happened in front of the schoolmistress. The conclusion remains that in school medicine of that day no opportunity was missed to subject boys to unnecessary and, in case of the very common narrowings, painful examinations of their [[penis]] - with the clear aim to combat all phimoses still present in primary school by complete [[Circumcision|foreskin amputation]]s. There is no other way to explain this ever-repeated sifting through the school classes.
When my [[penis]] was still [[intact]], which was up to almost 7 years of age, I myself never felt any need to pull back my tight [[foreskin]]. This was always just of special interest for the doctors. I never had any infections. Only the ballooning during [[urination ]] was a bit unpleasant, which was also seen as an urgent indicator for an urgent [[Circumcision|foreskin amputation]]. What a ridiculous assessment! Today, being almost 40 years old, I stretch my way to a new [[foreskin]] with customary devices, and I gain almost half a centimetre a month. For an unhindered flow of [[urine]], it would have taken just few more millimetres of preputial opening. How easily could I have been helped with the most simple methods of careful [[stretching]], without sacrificing my otherwise unscarred and uninfected [[foreskin]].
Even though my parents openmindedly discussed my [[phimosis]] with me (sometimes with others as well, which I always perceived as very embarrassing), they never really explained to me how a [[foreskin]] was supposed to function. My dad, who was still [[intact]] by that time, never showed me the [[foreskin]] on his [[penis]] and how my [[penis]] would look after the [[circumcision]]. I only remember my mother once mentioning that a single cut could be placed in the [[foreskin]], but that it would then "hang like rag", so cutting it off would be better, and that a lot of other boys had that, too. A therapy with creams was never tried on me, and people who claimed a [[phimosis]] could be treated with [[stretching]] were ridiculed. The doctor who was acquainted with my parents, who eventually performed the operation when I was six years old and who had "examined" me several times before (meaning he tried to forcefully retract my [[foreskin]]) also wasn't man enough to demonstrate to me how a [[foreskin]] was to be retracted and, most importantly, what my [[penis]] would look like after the operation. I very vividly remember the moment when I first saw my [[penis]] afterwards, deeply [[shock]]ed about the blood-red naked glans, but the doctor quickly said it had all gone perfectly and that I wouldn't need to be worried.
In the following years I didn't really suffer from being circumcised, and due to the doctors' relentless screenings there where several other boys in my class sharing my fate. Puberty didn't change that as well, and I had generally good sex with my girlfriends.
In my 20's, that began to change. I got more and more aware of my differentness, I felt robbed of my [[intact ]] [[penis]] and of the experience of how it would feel with a retractable [[foreskin]]. I grew an interest in observing other, [[intact]] men. The thought of a flaccid, uncut [[penis]] with ample [[foreskin]] and especially its movement started to cause strong sexual arousal. To see and to feel what I myself didn't have, wasn't allowed to experience and still wanted so desperately.
I began to increasingly envy [[intact]] men for their unadulterated relation to their [[penis]], combined with a feeling of inferiority. This does also increasingly inhibit me towards women, even though I know that women usually have no objections towards [[circumcised]] [[penis]]es.
===The first relationship===
I was already 18 years old when I got my first relationship - — that is, in my case, my first Friend - — had. Before that I had indeed been longing for a loving friend, but was long Time with my body so dissatisfied that a relationship for me was out of the question. I was Fear of being rejected because of my imperfect body and also wanted anyone do my mutilated [[penis]]. I also felt in the presence of other Boys still inferior.
So then I met my first boyfriend know. The first question posed to me was how he would react when he first sees me naked. I suppose I could with my incomplete body does not meet his expectations completely. Also, I had anyway Inhibitions to show me somebody naked.
===The conversation with the parents===
After talking with many people about it, I also spoke for the first time my parents of my [[circumcision]]. They did not at all that I so such problems and had also still have. They led my problems in school do not flow and since I had never spoken to them about it, they thought it was fine for me, to have been [[circumcised]]. I have them also on the physical and mental health problems told that I have since then, but I did not feel that they the full extent of my Problems comprehend. Especially my father, my problems do not seem to understand. My parents cannot imagine the consequences of their decision had on my life is. They have thus determined in a manner of my life today, as it is not for them. They have determined about my current physical and mental state. They also have deep encroached my sexual self-determination, by having made sure that I do not can learn normal sexuality. Although I assume that my parents only the best for I wanted and not have decided otherwise would have because the doctor did not properly had cleared, I see the relationship with my parents as a burden.
I ordered from my parents also exactly the problems that I had at that time report. So far I assumed that I had a tight [[foreskin]] (phimosis) and therefore cut was, with a phimosis itself only in the rarest cases, requires a radical [[circumcision]]. But what my parents told me not listened to for a phimosis. It seemed rather as be that easy for me, the [[foreskin]] is still fused to the glans in childhood, had not been properly replaced and the removal process did not go completely smoothly. When so, my [[circumcision]] would be difficult to justify, as it is, this is a ordinary process. Today I know that the vast majority of medical justified [[circumcision]] is unnecessary because there are other promising measures such as are ointment therapy and [[foreskin]]-sustaining interventions or because the problem in many cases with themselves over time done. When I look at all this together, I have to assume that with me no compelling need for a [[circumcision]] was. I nevertheless has been tweaked and now has to live with the drawbacks, is more depressing. I would have wished that my parents are better informed and more patience with my former would have had problems.