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Instead she went to see a child urologist. When she saw my son and his harmless [[phimosis]], she was shocked about the flippancy with which our paediatrician wanted to circumcise our son.
A really key experience came two years later. I had by then read on several internet forums that the surface of a circumcised glans gradually becomes thicker and sensitivity fades. So I tried to fight the callused [[skin ]] with facial defoliant cream. I did not feel any pain, it did not even feel unpleasant.
That was when I slowly realized what I had really lost with the [[Circumcision|foreskin amputation]]. I was shocked: what was normal for me my entire life was just a faint "residual sensitivity". I had more sensitivity on my upper arm then on my supposedly most sensitive spot.
To this day I suffer from the psychological and physical pain. I often hear the term of "rules of medical practice". I doubt my mutilation was done according to them. The pains in my body are everywhere, the cosmetic outcome is miserable. I have the feeling that an amateur mutilated me. I feel betrayed by my parents, by my culture, by Germany. No one protected me, and all of what happened and broke me forever, was legal. I am in therapy up until today, and this experience has marked me forever. When I follow the current debate round here, and see how insensitive and harsh most people are towards this topic, it hurts me a lot. It's about the basic rights of any human! Not about freedom of religion or tolerance. Basic rights are not negotiable. There is even a discussion about benefits and drawbacks. This has to be decided upon by a mature person for himself before he lets his body be modified !!! This goes far beyond [[parental rights]].
Some time ago, I heard of people who stretch their remaining [[skin ]] with certain devices, to get at least a [[penis]] that appears intact. I will start to do this as well, hoping that it will aid my "healing".
== Anonymous, 25 ==
I was circumcised at 8 days old during a Jewish bris ceremony. My family is Orthodox Jewish, and they believe that [[circumcision]] is a requirement. I witnessed many [[circumcision]] ceremonies in my extended family. I always felt very uncomfortable, and some of my uncles would leave the room when the cutting took place. When I started masturbating, I didn't understand that I needed to use lubrication, and so I injured myself. I experienced frequent chafing and bleeding. This still happens if I do not use proper lubrication. I have tight erections. Sometimes when I get erections only the top end of my [[penis]] gets erect, starting from the scar midway along my shaft. This condition is known as lymphedema. A few times it has been really painful and it stayed bloated for hours.
I have no [[frenulum]], just scar tissue on the underside of my glans, and therefore no sensitivity under the glans. Unless my glans is moist (which requires external lubrication), I experience virtually no pleasurable touch sensation on my [[penis]]. I started restoring almost a year ago, but I have not been doing it regularly because of my active lifestyle. I bike a lot and do lots other activities that require me to be mobile. I think in the near future when I grow more [[skin ]] I will be able to wear my device while doing such activities. Now I wear my device only 1 to 3 hours per day, and not every day, although I am working on making it more of a habit. One positive result so far is that my shaft [[skin ]] is more mobile. There are also psychological benefits; doing something to help myself feels really empowering.
===The discovery of sexuality===
Sometime during my school days I started with [[masturbation]], which without [[foreskin]] was not quite simple. First I tried with a dry hand to rub the glans, but except unpleasant to painful feelings nothing further happened. I then tried different techniques and tools such as soft cloth from which it although somewhat worked, with which I also sometimes minor injuries, such as Abrasions on the glans, drew upon. Eventually I came up with the idea as shampoo to use a lubricant. It worked quite well for a short time, but ultimately it dried the Skin [[skin]] quite strong, so that created fissures on the surface of the glans and for some time no more pain-free [[masturbation]] was possible. It took a long time until I right had found techniques and lubricant with which the [[masturbation]] without major problems was possible. Especially during the time of experimentation I wished again my [[foreskin]] back. I just wanted to be a normal boy.
Meanwhile, I had finally given up the hope that my [[foreskin]] grow back would and so I had to somehow come to terms with my condition. I wish my [[foreskin]] back and tried many times to imagine what it would be like to have a [[foreskin]]. The Certainty that nothing would change in my condition caused an oppressive feeling and I wondered how I could endure my life that way. In the youth magazine "Bravo" I read at that time, that it is quite normal to be circumcised, and therefore no one Has disadvantages. These statements came as naturally called, because it would mean that I could lead a normal life and should not worry about that. I tried to convince myself that only a small useless piece of [[skin ]] was removed and that I actually should have no problems with it. I suppressed my problems, but has been very successful I did not order.
At every opportunity, the problems came up again and again. It was enough of, if, for example, by trimming hedges or right was the speech and I was immediately reminded of my [[circumcision]] and my imperfect body. Still felt I envy and a sense of inferiority when I thought of that other boy a were allowed to have their whole body and not on intimate area of her body piece had been cut away. In this situation, it was still almost impossible for me to build my confidence. One few times, I still took all my courage and spoke with a friend or classmate about my [[circumcision]] and the problems I had with it. However, the subject was in each case downright stalled, even before I had ever uttered. My problem was simply not taken seriously, and yet circumcised with phrases such as "There are so many guys, this is quite normal." or "It is much more hygienic and can be much longer during sex." recklessly dismissed.
So then I met my first boyfriend know. The first question posed to me was how he would react when he first sees me naked. I suppose I could with my incomplete body does not meet his expectations completely. Also, I had anyway Inhibitions to show me somebody naked.
Finally it came to first sexual Contacts with him. We lay together in bed when he suddenly went into my pants with his hand. He began the [[skin ]] on my [[penis]] around, obviously trying to pull, not mine to move existing [[foreskin]]. My heart was racing and I began to tremble, for now he would find out that I was circumcised. Then after a short time when he actually noticed that something was wrong, he asked me if I was circumcised. So now the moment had come, where I had to tell him. With difficulty I managed a quiet "yes" out. To my surprise seemed not seem to mind, because he showed no negative Reactions. However, his touches were still not much more pleasant, because he simply did not know how to deal with a circumcised [[penis]]. Conversely, it was otherwise, because I did not know how to deal with an [[uncircumcised]] [[penis]] had.
Apparently I added him to pain, as I rubbed my hand just above his [[penis]]. He then showed me how I had before and push the [[foreskin]] back at him, which for me is a fascinating feeling was that I did not know before. Another surprise for me was that his [[penis]] hardly smelled. I had heard that it is always damp under the [[foreskin]] and therefore quickly forms a strong smell, but both did not apply. Although it was already many hours ago since, my friend had recently washed, to my amazement was hardly a smell perceptible.
===Sexual disadvantages===
Less enjoyable for me it was the difference between a circumcised and a to experience intact [[penis]]. So far I can only speculate as an intact [[penis]] in detail looks like and I did not even know how the [[foreskin]] works. Now I had the first time direct comparison and I had a number of negative effects of [[circumcision]] with me notice. Besides the obvious difference being that my [[foreskin]] was missing, the glans lay under it was only a thin scar line, I noticed at first sight clear color - and structural differences. While he was a delicate purple, pink [[foreskin]] and a Acorn had a smooth surface, my [[penis]] was pale and had more of a gray-brown color. Moreover, the surface was not smooth, but a dry and slightly shriveled Skin [[skin]] layer, a thin cornea that had formed over the years, because of the Protection of the glans through the [[foreskin]] was missing.
But not only in appearance but also in the sensitivity, there were clear differences. Unlike my friend who reacted very sensitive to touch, it took with me have a fixed pressure, so I felt anything at all. Since me with the sensitive inner [[foreskin]] is an erogenous zone was cut away and the glans due to lack of protection was dulled with time; I was mainly at the edge sensitive glans, where a few millimeters residual [[foreskin]] and [[circumcision]] scar was. Had at this point my friend touch with firm pressure and with the help of lubricant, so I sufficiently was stimulated. If he did not touched me in the right place, I felt a little something and when the handle was too hard or not enough lubricant, it quickly became uncomfortable and sometimes painful. It took quite a while to get my friend had taught the proper technique. He told me often during this time, how easy it but whether in its intact ex-boyfriend was, and what else he could have done to him what with me was not possible. It is therefore not the case that only a small piece of [[skin ]] missing and the [[circumcision]] has no major influence on sexuality, as is often claimed.
For me it has the appearance, decrease its sensitivity and by the lack of [[foreskin]] and the sexual design options limited. I realized that my [[penis]] is not as worked and provided more than ever, I felt my body as mutilated. After about half a year my boyfriend broke from me again. He told me afterwards, that he finds a circumcised [[penis]] boring, but not what is the reason for the separation. What little confidence I had built up until then, was one stroke back destroyed. In my relationships I had since then, I remembered it again and again and had each time been re afraid of the moment when I had to admit circumcised be. Fortunately, there was only this one negative reaction my first friend, the others it was relatively unimportant - at least they said it that way.
===New ways===
About half a year I started with a manual [[foreskin]] [[Restoration|reconstruction]]. There the shaft [[skin ]] is stretched and with time forms on the train points under the [[skin ]] after. Although it can not restore the sensitive tissue of the [[foreskin]], but the one can thus produce an almost normal appearance, and the other protects the so-produced the glans [[skin]], which then can regenerate a bit far. When pausing the elongation, I make sure with a rubber attachment that the glans is protected around the clock from friction. At night I wear in addition to a cornea-dissolving moisturizer.
This treatment shows first effect already. The color of the glans is going to return to normal and the sensitivity has increased a little. Overall, it will take several years, until enough [[skin ]] has formed to cover the glans. While it will never be like a real [[foreskin]] all its functions, but I can at least the physical effects of my [[circumcision]] somewhat mitigated. So far, the [[skin ]] has already become a little looser, so that they at erections less stressed. It's not much, but even such little progress has help me a lot continue to build my self-confidence.
Another attempt to build my self-confidence is to do sports, to me feeling more comfortable back in my body. So far I have in my life as good as any sports made, and little care of my body, because for me it just does not make sense made. After all, he had been mutilated and it would stay forever. Meanwhile, I 'm but believe that I can achieve that progress. A sportier character in connection with at least one optically reconstructed [[foreskin]] is safe for both my well-being as well boost my self-confidence. Therefore, I have decided to regularly go to the gym to go. From the very first appointment I was also forced me my greatest to provide fears and showers to go there. For me it was a great challenge to me pull out a room in which other men are. My legs were shaking so much, that the pulling me alone caused difficulties. I felt again as in Swimming lessons in the school, but I got used to it after a short time situation. I took a shower, dried off and got dressed again - it was done and no one had bothered that I am circumcised. It was a great feeling, this situation, before I was always afraid to experience than normal.