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→Hannes M.: Wikify.
In the year 1980, a radical removal of the [[foreskin]] was the only method of choice for many doctors. And since it was said to be only a tiny intrusion, without any negative consequences, my parents followed the demi-god in white. I only remember very little about the operation and the time following. The most distinct memory is lying in the hospital bed, with a thick bandage around my [[penis]].
Immediately following the [[circumcision]], I was extremely inhibited. I was ashamed, felt like a misfit. I refused to shower with the others after PE classes, because I felt like a monster with a [[penis]] that didn't look like a [[penis]]. On top of that, there were the awful, bulging [[Circumcision scar| scars ]] and for a long time, the unpleasant feeling when my [[penis]] rubbed against my underwear. It only faded gradually, and I calmed down.
When I reached puberty and began to be interested in sexuality, I naturally read the sexual education pages in the "Bravo". I still vividly remember how they often wrote about how pretty and hygienic a [[circumcised ]] [[penis]] would be and how long lasting [[Circumcised#Circumcised_males| circumcised men ]] were during sex. I believed all of it and claimed it myself for years. I was proud of my circumcised [[penis]] and how long I could last.
In my [[circumcision]], the entire [[foreskin]], and therefore all of the sensitive tissue on its inside, was amputated. Since the [[glans ]] was now exposed as a result, the constant excitation from underwear and the strong friction from masturbating with my hand caused it to become more and more callused and therefore less sensitive. Callused does of course not mean my glans looks like other people's heels. But the surface of my glans is dry, much thicker and often fissured. It is nowhere near what it is on a normal [[penis]]: tender, moist, sensitive. My sexuality was always mingled with disappointment. Disappointment that the feelings I had were never so intense. Disappointment that fulfilment often failed to appear. Disappointment about the feeling to give, but not to receive much. Intercourse often ended in my partners' pleas to come to an end, since they where starting to feel pain, while I was often just starting to build up intense feelings at that point.
Due to ignorance, for a long time I blamed it on the individual women. I thought they were frigid or assumed they "just don't know how to do it". Only recently I realised how very wrong I had been. When the urge to experience a sexual "kick" culminated in several adulteries, my marriage was almost ruined as well. Meanwhile, we managed to save our marriage, and I am endlessly grateful to my wife for that. My [[circumcision]] has deprived me of a huge part of my sexuality for ever. It not only burdens me a lot, but also my wife, who suffers a great deal from being unable to give me what I desire.
Instead she went to see a child urologist. When she saw my son and his harmless [[phimosis]], she was [[shock]]ed about the flippancy with which our paediatrician wanted to circumcise our son.
A really key experience came two years later. I had by then read on several internet forums that the surface of a [[circumcised ]] glans gradually becomes thicker and sensitivity fades. So I tried to fight the callused [[skin]] with facial defoliant cream. I did not feel any pain, it did not even feel unpleasant.
That was when I slowly realized what I had really lost with the [[Circumcision|foreskin amputation]]. I was [[shock]]ed: what was normal for me my entire life was just a faint "residual sensitivity". I had more sensitivity on my upper arm then on my supposedly most sensitive spot.
This experience also made me understand why so many [[Circumcised#Circumcised_males| circumcised men ]] have such a hard time realizing their loss. It is an unimaginably huge step to be able to accept that one has not been refined, but to the contrary, one has lost so much.
I meanwhile found a personal solution. It consists of special latex covers that I use as a [[foreskin]] substitute.
The first oral sex after wearing them for about two weeks was incredibly intense. Never before had I felt something like that. Since then, I no longer need desperately to"work" towards reaching climax quickly, but instead I can just let go. Something that I barely knew before: I now can really enjoy sleeping with my wife. And that despite the fact that I still only feel a small portion of what an [[intact ]] man can.
To me, the [[circumcision]] of underaged children or even infants without a pressing [[medical indication]] has become an act of bodily assault and abuse of position of trust, no matter if it is performed for religious, traditional or other non-medical reasons.
== [[Önder Özgeday]], 29 ==