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{{Citation
| Title=I said yes and my gut was just telling me it wasn’t okay.
| Text=So I’m a regret mom of my first born. I was young (19) and I really didn’t research on to much other than how he was growing each week I was certain about a few things like wanting to breast feed [[breastfeeding|breastfeed]] and [[skin]] to [[skin]], [[Circumcision]] never crossed my mind and, when it did, I just thought it was something I was going to have to do, so I tried not to think about it.
Well, November 14 I gave birth at 12:55 am to a healthy 6lb 14oz baby. I stayed up in Awwh of him all night till about 5am, the next morning as soon as I woke up the nurse came in and told me he needed his newborn screening and wanted to know if he was being [[circumcised]], I said yes and my gut was just telling me it wasn’t okay. As I was about to change him the nurse scooped him up and said ”oh don’t worry we will get that” I didn’t get to change his first diaper and see that he was perfect how he was. While he was gone I felt so helpless, and when he came back I really knew this wasn’t right.
I wanted it to be wrong so bad. I wanted to believe I did what was best but the evidence was right there. It was even in the most recent what to expect when you’re expecting books. So I sat and held my baby and just cried. I am his mother and I’m supposed to protect him why didn’t I just listen to my gut, why didn’t anyone tell me I didn’t need to, I had all these feelings and so much guilt that will never go away but I vowed I would never do it again and I would do everything I can to help educate other moms because I wish someone would have sent me a message, I would have probably been so relieved knowing i didn’t have to do it.
Well here I am almost 6 years later and I have a perfect whole and healthy 3-month-old and it has been so much different in a good way my 2nd son was a lot more content his first weeks and he took to [[breastfeeding| breast feeding]] a lot faster; he would actually wake up for feedings and stay latched and not worrying about a wound on your newborn was such a relief.
I did have them at the same hospital and I had the same dr; he was not the one who performed the circ tho. He is actually a very progressive dr especially for his age. He didn’t ever tell me I didn’t have to do it, never was really discuss the first time. The second time around I did ask him just so my husband could “hear it from a professional” he said my o.b told him is was absolutely just cosmetic and a boy would little to no issues with staying [[intact]]. My second stay with my son I was only asked once about [[circumcision]] and I said no that was that, I did have it in my birth plan as well. They were a great hospital honestly, if they would just give people a heads up, like hey, you know you can say no to this and it will be okay. But what’s done is done and I hate that my son has to live with my mistake,😞 but I will tell him how sorry I am and that I wasn’t educated.